How smoking ruins women’s friendship

Whatever men say, women’s friendship is as important and strong as men’s. Who can tell you about two extra kilos? Who can lend you a dress for a great date? Who can calm you after a horrible parting? Who will keep in secret your real age after 35 and celebrate your 25th birthday 5 years later?

At school I was self-contained and had no close friends, at university I was too party-minded and had no close friends and at work I finally was successful at friendship – Melissa, colleague from my department was about my age and … also smoked! We immediately liked each other. It was so funny to go out to smoke a cigarette and gossip about everybody and everything. We did not pay attention to the strange looks of other colleagues, but then…

The news about Melissa’s retiring was a shock for me. I should get over it, I said to myself. I thought that I was in good terms with others from my department. But after Melissa’s leaving everything has changed. Strange looks were now too often, like whispering behind my back. “Oh, this smell!” one day said our assistant after my visit to smoking room. “Why do you smoke? Don’t you think about your children?” asked me our free-lance PR-manager two days later. I turned red and found no words to answer. A month later after my smoking their looks changed from strange to irritated. “Could you stop smoking at work, please? Haven’t you heard about passive smoking?” insisted my boss Liz. “But I smoke only in a special room”, tried to explain I but understood that this would not work.

Years after I understood that smoking has a strong influence on relationships with colleagues and friendship. Smoking person doubtlessly has difficulties in socializing. My difficulties got worse when my children went to nursery school, and I guess I will write about this next time.